Bit of a different post from me today, but one I still feel will be beneficial to the emotional health of many people. I hear a certain question quite a lot from folk as to how I stay so positive, and I have to say that the answer for me is pretty clear. Quite simply, I like to switch off negative things. Now that may seem a rather flippant statement to make, but I gave up a long time ago worrying unnecessarily about situations, what people thought, or getting sucked into negative things that added not one jot of value to my life. Now that is not to say I do not care, but more that I became choosy as to what I allowed into my life and who and what I surrounded myself with.
People in particular can be a major force in dragging you down. This does not just apply to friends and work colleagues, but even in some instances your family. You would think that your family would be the one safe and happy source that would give you never ending support for your ventures, and with your life in general, but you would be wrong. For most people, this notion of family support would be true, but not for everybody. I know many an individual who has been told that, ‘they will never amount to anything’ or be told whilst trying to attain something ‘it will probably never amount to anything, so don’t get your hopes up’. These negative folk are like human bulldozers, ready to reduce dreams and hopes inside you to rubble. That is… if you let them. The big question you find yourself left with, is why do they do it? Why do family, friends and work associates feel the need to be so negative over everything?
One big cause is jealousy, and take it from me there are people within families, workplaces, friendships and groups who are jealous of each other. Jealousy is a disease and those that suffer from it, are the first people I will always remove myself away from. I have no time for their negative or bitter vibes, nor do I want to hear anything that comes from their mouth because it is usually loaded… and not with anything positive or worthwhile I might add. How do I work them out? Well for me, I can sense it. I always listen to what someone says, but that does not mean that I will act upon what they say or advise. If after being surrounded by them, my wonderful Holy Spirit discernment gives me cause for concern, then I will back off from them, and even in some cases disassociate myself from them. Of course, everybody gets a few chances, and I always try to rub off some of my positive energy upon them, but sometimes negative people only enjoy feeding off negativity, it see,s that positive, motivational and joyful vibes have no place in their life. These are people who enjoy dragging others down, love to watch people fall and yes, surprisingly, can even try to engineer another persons downfall. In basic terms, they can be monsters to be around.
Another cause, can be their own personal love for despair, misery and woe. Believe it or not, but some folk love a bit of drama and play out their lives as if it was one of those horrific soap operas, which for the record, I loathe beyond words. The problem is, I think they are so absorbed into depression and sadness that they think it is normal. When this happens, their own self-esteem, confidence plus any dream they once may have had, shatters into pieces.
Then you have the other cause which I am all too aware of, and that is the influence of another. Just as an example, this is where say another family member possibly has a grudge or grievance against you and another family member would not go against their misguided loyalty to this person, so as a consequence they will also be against you. These people I truly pity, because they have lost their own voice and control, being clearly manipulated by another.
If any of this is ringing true for you either at home, in the workplace or in your social circle, then first of all you need to work on techniques to block out either what has been said or done. It was hard for me to learn this at first, but now I have taught myself to switch my ears and eyes on and off, pretty much like a child does when you are telling it off. Like a sponge, I will absorb what I want to take in and ring out what I don’t. When someone tries to bring you down, hates on you, or is negative in any way for your hopes and aspirations, I want you to imagine that they are like a rubbish TV show. Take control of the remote and move to a better channel, and physically think that you have pressed the ‘mute’ button. Get rid of their words, take them off the screen, off your eyes and mind and start clearing your heart of the junk they are attempting to pollute you with. Also forgive them for what they may say or do. You may not forget easy, but forgive because when you do, you are the one who is then in control. By closing down the situation and moving on with your life, you stop bitterness and resentment kicking in. In other words, you end up being happier, quicker thus allowing yourself to be motivated to carry on with your dreams and ambitions.